Well I'm very under the weather tonight. Feeling anxious about starting my course and my fiancé Andy is going off to travel for a few months which is an amazing opportunity and I'm so excited for him but the reality that he's going to be gone for so long is setting in. So think today has just been draining and made me feel worse. Although normally days like this would be when I'd reach for the 'comfort' stuff. Instead I know I can control it and can stay focussed on WW, not just throwing the towel in after a bad day. So I've had a small bag of maltesers for my chocolate fix, within points and that was enough.
So after a bad day, that normally would end up in a WW disaster, has been controlled and I know for sure that this time I'm back on the wagon and my head is screwed on! Just need to keep remembering this moment the next time I come close to slipping! xxx
Friday 3 September 2010
Thursday 2 September 2010
I've been thinking...bit dangerous for me, that!
Well, in deciding to start this blog I've been having to have a long hard look at myself and where my problems have lain and where I see myself progressing to.
I've not been happy in my own skin for a good couple of years and after four horrible years at university have finally begun to turn a corner. For most people the student lifestyle is one that is relished and the overindulgence experienced by most people is often accounted for by the amount of fun being had going out with friends partying the night away, often with alcohol and convenience food playing a big part! There was definitely this going on in my first year but my biggest problem was that I never got into the swing of student life. I had horrendous flat mates in halls, so bad that I moved, followed by a huge dislike for my course and topped off by ill health due to the stress of it all. After a year out from uni when I worked and travelled, I thought things were looking up but somehow I still ended up with toxic people in my life, at uni and old 'friends' from home. Thankfully I have an amazing fiancé, family and some really great friends who have seen me through it but it just made life hard work and added to an ever increasing waist line!
I know this is where my weight gain came from and I know that comfort eating is my biggest downfall. There were so many times I'd just be so wound up or frustrated so would head to the local shop for half price ben and jerry's cookie dough and a big bar of galaxy or dairy milk. I've realised now I was often on a self-destruct mode where I 'needed' the sugary stuff to make me feel better but in reality it never did and it only ever made me feel worse when the pounds would creep on so I'd feel worse and this viscous cycle would continue. I don't know if I did it to sort of punish myself for not being able to cope with the stress or if I just decided I couldn't cope without it - but either way isn't great!
Having left uni this summer a huge weight felt like it was off my shoulders, it's been hard work and coupled with other personal difficulties in the last 18 months it's basically been one of the worst times of my life, so it finally being over is such a release. This summer I've felt so free and so much more like myself. I know when it comes to losing weight seriously I can do it as I've done it before but I can't let life throw me off track this time. Things are always going to crop up in life and now my 'ball and chain' of uni is over I can move on with things that make me happy, including starting my teacher training which I start on Monday. I've realised I am worth putting the effort in to make myself feel great again and shifting this weight is top of that agenda. I'm aiming to lose 35lbs to begin with which will take me to my goal weight being at the top end of my bmi but I may decide to lose a couple more after this - probably not too much more though as I don't do the 'skinny' look well!
My first goal is my 5% which is only another 5/6lbs so hoping that the next 3 weeks will lead me to that goal then I can re-assess and set another small goal. I've realised this is the best way for me to focus as the big picture can seem very daunting!
So, this post was far longer than I intended so if you're still with me, thanks! I don't know if any of my ramblings are of any help to anyone else but I hope there might be something of use at some point (though I can't guarantee I'll even make any sense so we'll have to wait and see!) xxxx
I've not been happy in my own skin for a good couple of years and after four horrible years at university have finally begun to turn a corner. For most people the student lifestyle is one that is relished and the overindulgence experienced by most people is often accounted for by the amount of fun being had going out with friends partying the night away, often with alcohol and convenience food playing a big part! There was definitely this going on in my first year but my biggest problem was that I never got into the swing of student life. I had horrendous flat mates in halls, so bad that I moved, followed by a huge dislike for my course and topped off by ill health due to the stress of it all. After a year out from uni when I worked and travelled, I thought things were looking up but somehow I still ended up with toxic people in my life, at uni and old 'friends' from home. Thankfully I have an amazing fiancé, family and some really great friends who have seen me through it but it just made life hard work and added to an ever increasing waist line!
I know this is where my weight gain came from and I know that comfort eating is my biggest downfall. There were so many times I'd just be so wound up or frustrated so would head to the local shop for half price ben and jerry's cookie dough and a big bar of galaxy or dairy milk. I've realised now I was often on a self-destruct mode where I 'needed' the sugary stuff to make me feel better but in reality it never did and it only ever made me feel worse when the pounds would creep on so I'd feel worse and this viscous cycle would continue. I don't know if I did it to sort of punish myself for not being able to cope with the stress or if I just decided I couldn't cope without it - but either way isn't great!
Having left uni this summer a huge weight felt like it was off my shoulders, it's been hard work and coupled with other personal difficulties in the last 18 months it's basically been one of the worst times of my life, so it finally being over is such a release. This summer I've felt so free and so much more like myself. I know when it comes to losing weight seriously I can do it as I've done it before but I can't let life throw me off track this time. Things are always going to crop up in life and now my 'ball and chain' of uni is over I can move on with things that make me happy, including starting my teacher training which I start on Monday. I've realised I am worth putting the effort in to make myself feel great again and shifting this weight is top of that agenda. I'm aiming to lose 35lbs to begin with which will take me to my goal weight being at the top end of my bmi but I may decide to lose a couple more after this - probably not too much more though as I don't do the 'skinny' look well!
My first goal is my 5% which is only another 5/6lbs so hoping that the next 3 weeks will lead me to that goal then I can re-assess and set another small goal. I've realised this is the best way for me to focus as the big picture can seem very daunting!
So, this post was far longer than I intended so if you're still with me, thanks! I don't know if any of my ramblings are of any help to anyone else but I hope there might be something of use at some point (though I can't guarantee I'll even make any sense so we'll have to wait and see!) xxxx
It's late but I've finally done it!
Hi everyone,
I've just created this blog and have no idea if I'm just going to be chatting away randomly into cyberspace or if any of you will actually want to take the time to read my ramblings - but thank you in advance if you do!
This blog is mainly to keep me on the straight and narrow with my weight watchers journey and as I've been thinking about writing a blog for ages and decided now was as good a time as any - although it has taken me so long to set it up that it's now 10 to 1 in the morning and I'm shattered!
So this is my first official post but hopefully the ones to follow will be more insightful and may even help others on their weight loss journey - even if it's only not to make the same mistakes I have :) xxx
I've just created this blog and have no idea if I'm just going to be chatting away randomly into cyberspace or if any of you will actually want to take the time to read my ramblings - but thank you in advance if you do!
This blog is mainly to keep me on the straight and narrow with my weight watchers journey and as I've been thinking about writing a blog for ages and decided now was as good a time as any - although it has taken me so long to set it up that it's now 10 to 1 in the morning and I'm shattered!
So this is my first official post but hopefully the ones to follow will be more insightful and may even help others on their weight loss journey - even if it's only not to make the same mistakes I have :) xxx
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